This seems to be making its rounds on the Net right now.

via Louis via Lane

Italian Corporation
· You have two cows but you don’t know where they are.
· While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
· You break for lunch.
· Life is good.

Russian Corporation
· You have two cows.
· You have some vodka.
· You count them and learn you have five cows.
· You have some more vodka.
· You count them and learn you have 42 cows.
· The mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

Taliban Corporation
· You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
· You can’t milk them because you can’t touch the cow’s private parts.
· Then you kill them and claim a US bomb blew them up while they were in the hospital.

Polish Corporation
· You have two cows.
· Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

Florida Corporation
· You have a black cow and a brown cow.
· Everyone votes for the best looking one.
· Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote for the black one.
· Some people vote for both.
· Some people vote for neither.
· Some people can’t figure out how to vote at all.
· Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is the best-looking one.

New York Corporation
· You have fifteen million cows.
· You have to choose which one will be the leader of the herd, so you pick some fat cow from Arkansas

7 Comments

You have two cows, one is a bull. Soon you have 34 Million cows. You kill/refrigerate/and sell all over the world to other people who have cows and can't seem to make them work.

You live in New Zealand.

You have two cows, you can't spell, you call them Tucows and make millions on the internet.

You live in Ohio.

You have two cows, you mixup some barbeque sauce, you have a big party and BBQ ribs.

You live in Texas.

Bible Corporation
You have two cows.
You pray.
You pray some more.
You have two holy cows.

Hollywood Corporation
You have two cows.
You cast two ninjas.
You have two cow-abangas.

California Dood
You have two cows
You grow grass
Your cows munch the grass
You're all a happy family

More California Dood
You have two cows
Your cows have an idea
Your cows get funded by VCs
You retire rich to.. California!

Even More California Dood
You have two cows
The cows have a depression
You take your cows to the shrink
You end up with two pairs of Gucci shoes :)

You have Mad Cows ...

Kentucky Corporation
You have two cows.
You hire two short guys to ride them.
You invite half the country to a week-long party.
You get them so drunk they think a mint julip is palatable.
You run the cows past Hollywood stars, but everyone is watching the topless girl standing on the port-a-potty.
You call it the greatest two minutes in sports.

for the lost, this was originally doing the rounds, years ago:
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Politics With Cows

Feudalism
You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

Pure Socialism
You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you all the milk you need.

Bureaucratic Socialism
Your cows are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs the regulations say you should need.

Fascism
You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.

Pure Communism
You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

Real World Communism
You share two cows with your neighbors. You and your neighbors bicker about who has the most "ability" and who has the most "need". Meanwhile, no one works, no one gets any milk, and the cows drop dead of starvation.

Russian Communism
You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the black market.

Perestroika
You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the Mafia takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the "free" market.

Cambodian Communism
You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

Militarianism
You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

Totalitarianism
You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.

Pure Democracy
You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

Representative Democracy
You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

British Democracy
You have two cows. You feed them sheeps' brains and they go mad. The government doesn't do anything.

Bureaucracy
You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

Pure Anarchy
You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.

Pure Capitalism
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

Capitalism
You don't have any cows. The bank will not lend you money to buy cows, because you don't have any cows to put up as collateral.

Enviromentalism
You have two cows. The government bans you from milking or killing them.

Political Correctness
You are associated with (the concept of "ownership" is a symbol of the phallo centric, war mongering, intolerant past) two differently - aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of non-specified gender.

Surrealism
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.


concurrently with


Economics With Cows

TRADITIONAL CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the band, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.

JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty time the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowikimon and market them worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are... You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows... both are mad.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows... and the one on the left is kinda cute...

Medical Beaurocracy
You have two cows. During a routine check-up, it is discovered that one apparently has a new and symptomless disorder, requiring expensive and complicated medicine. The other develops a stuck udder after babying the first and dies waiting in the emergency room. The hospital refuses to compensate for any lost milk and accidentally shoots the other cow.
Hippie Commune
You have two cows. They live in an isolated field and munch grass all day long.
Homosexuality
You have two cows, but nobody wishes them to be together. So you turn them into a fabulous leather interior for the guest parlor.

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